5 simple things parents can do instead of losing their temper

Are you continually promising yourself that you will do things differently and next time you will not shout! But then your child pushes your buttons and you start shouting again.

Parents often say that my child only do what I ask once I start shouting, this is because you have set the expectation that when I lose it action is needed.  However, it does not have to be that way there are things that you can do to help you get into less situations where you are frustrated and end up shouting.

Here are 5 simple things you can do to lessen the shouting:

• Lower your voice instead of raising it

Usually when you start shouting, the children shout back, you raise your voice even more, the stress levels go up and it can escalate to everybody having a tantrum. By lowering your voice and using a firm tone you will catch your children’s attention and they will have to concentrate to hear you.

• Have realistic expectations of your child and yourself

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world and you do not receive any ongoing training for it. Try to remember thatparenting is a lifelong job that you are learning about every day.  Therefore, like any learning there will be challenges, you will get things wrong, but these will be balanced with the joys of seeing your child grow and flourish. It is also important to have realistic age-appropriate expectations of your children. Unsure of what they might be click on the link to find out more- https://www.heysigmund.com/developmental-stage/

• Use your words effectively

Keep sentences short and to the point for example, it is time to turn off the tablet and come to the dinner table. When your child refuses to, calmly repeat the instruction, without creating a narrative and engaging in a conversation. Use I statement –

I know that you are feeling upset because you must put your I Pad away. It is dinner time now. What will you play on your I pad tomorrow? Stick to the script, repeat and do not lecture or start criticising.

• Allow your emotions, but do not let them take over

All feelings are ok. When a strong feeling arises, acknowledge it then pause and take a breath. When we resist a feeling, we inadvertently remain stuck in the same feeling. When we accept the feeling, it’s gone in 2 minutes. In the moments of taking a breath reflect on what is going on and what can you do to be the calm in your child’s storm.

• Have clear expectations and be consistent

It is important that you explain what the expectations around behaviour are in the home. Always take time to teach and guide your children around any boundaries that you set. Once they are set you need to be consistent in your expectations and expect that your children will almost certainly test and protest. Stick with the boundaries, be fair but consistent and empathise with your child’s emotional reactions.