- Be Consistent at all times. For example – Term time is tiring for parents too and we may let things slip. Children know this and will take advantage.
- Catch your child when they are good even if it is a little thing. E.g. “Thank you for helping me to…” or “You are listening so well to this story.” When children are consistently challenging, we naturally tend to focus on the negative.
- Create clear consequences for unacceptable behaviour – A range of consequences for minor things and more major. e.g. If they are rude, one warning, if they repeat, 5 mins quiet time in the room, if repeated 5 minutes time out, outside the room. Then remove toys for a length of time, not too long but a few hours, an afternoon or day if you feel it is a major incident. Procrastinating at bedtime, if it is a toy or games console ask them to put it away half an hour before bed. If they take longer e.g. 15 minutes, explain toys will have to go away 15 minutes earlier. Boundaries give our children security and teach them what is right and wrong.
- Have clear house rules that are positive e.g. Speak politely instead of do not speak rudely. Have clear, simple rules and remind your children of them regularly. Involve your children in creating the rules.
- Do not ask the same thing over and over again insist on your child following instructions first time / second time and consequences if they do not.
- Laugh and have fun together laughter really is the best medicine
- Create quality time every day for example read a book at bedtime or let your children help in the kitchen.
- Choose your battles count to 5, 10 20, whatever works for you and think, will this matter this time tomorrow. If it won’t, let it go, if it will, carry out the appropriate consequences.
- Let your children know you love them for who they are and how they behave.
- Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect parent but we can all be good parents and we are all in the same boat. It is a rollercoaster ride.
Top Ten Tips for Positive Parenting by Cherie The Parent Coach
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