What 5 Simple Things Can Parents Do Instead of Losing Their Temper?

Are you continually promising yourself that you will do things differently and that next time you will not shout? But then your child pushes your buttons, and you start shouting again.
5 things parents can do instead of loosing their temper

Are you continually promising yourself that you will do things differently and that next time you will not shout? But then your child pushes your buttons and you start shouting again.

Parents often say, “My child only does what I ask once I start shouting.” This is because you have set the expectation that when I lose it, action is needed. However, it does not have to be that way—there are things that you can do to help you get into fewer situations where you are frustrated and end up shouting.

Here are 5 Simple Things You Can Do to Lessen the Shouting:

  1. Lower Your Voice Instead of Raising It: Usually, when you start shouting, the children shout back, you raise your voice even more, stress levels go up and it can escalate to everybody having a tantrum. By lowering your voice and using a firm tone, you will catch your children’s attention, and they will have to concentrate to hear you.
  2. Have Realistic Expectations of Your Child and Yourself: Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world and you do not receive any ongoing training for it. Try to remember that parenting is a lifelong journey that you are learning about every day. Like any learning process, there will be challenges and you will get things wrong—but these will be balanced with the joys of seeing your child grow and flourish. It is also important to have realistic, age-appropriate expectations of your children. Unsure of what they might be? Click here to find out more.
  3. Use Your Words Effectively: Keep sentences short and to the point. For example, “It is time to turn off the tablet and come to the dinner table.” When your child refuses, calmly repeat the instruction without creating a narrative or engaging in a conversation. Use “I” statements, such as:“I know that you are feeling upset because you must put your iPad away. It is dinner time now. What will you play on your iPad tomorrow?”Stick to the script, repeat and avoid lecturing or starting to criticise.
  4. Allow Your Emotions, but Do Not Let Them Take Over: All feelings are okay. When a strong feeling arises, acknowledge it, then pause and take a breath. When we resist a feeling, we inadvertently remain stuck in the same feeling. When we accept the feeling, it usually dissipates in two minutes. In the moments of taking a breath, reflect on what is going on and consider what you can do to be the calm in your child’s storm.
  5. Have Clear Expectations and Be Consistent: It is important to explain what the expectations around behaviour are in your home. Always take time to teach and guide your children around any boundaries that you set. Once they are set, you need to be consistent in your expectations and expect that your children will almost certainly test and protest. Stick with the boundaries, be fair but consistent, and empathise with your child’s emotional reactions.

Need Support?

If you find yourself struggling to manage your responses or need help implementing these strategies, feel free to reach out for a free consultation. We can discuss your challenges and explore the support available to help you create a calmer and more cooperative family environment. Reach out today to start making positive changes!

Picture of Hi, I'm Cherie

Hi, I'm Cherie

I help parents feel more fulfilled and confident in their parenting journey by offering personalised advice and practical strategies tailored to their unique needs. With over 30 years of experience, I specialise in guiding parents through the challenges of raising primary-aged children.

Book a FREE consultation below if you're ready to enhance your parenting skills and create a happier home!

Share:

Search

More Posts

Subscribe

and download my free tips on how to manage challenging behaviour